I resonate strongly with the Anais Nin quote “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” It captures the buttoned-up, trying-to-hold-it-together pain I was in, and the toll that was taking on my life. And also how a more joyful me was always there, waiting to be allowed to live, and acknowledges the bravery it took to let myself open to me.
I experience life as a trans, non-monogamous, queer and kinky person. I use all pronouns.
I welcome people in all bodies, of all genders, all sexual orientations, adopting all relationship styles.
I welcome people in all bodies, of all genders, all sexual orientations, adopting all relationship styles.
Where we begin
Hi, I'm Jules. With me as your companion we can explore the areas in your life where you want to see change.
If I have a wish for you, then it is to help you reconnect and foster, or deepen, a love and understanding for yourself that may have absent since childhood, and even before you can remember - find Nietzsche's life-affirming "sacred Yes". Today our sacred Yes can be at any scale, the small victories accumulate over time, and all are worthy of celebration.
Everything you need is right inside of you
– Nut Tmu-Ankh Butterfly
‘Everything you need is right inside of you” – this quote was profoundly influential in my unfolding, and I still believe strongly in the truth of it’s message, but you might ask – if that’s the case, what do I need you for?
In a world with so many demands from such an early age, we quickly move far away from our true self – showing only those parts of us that get approval from our caregivers and hiding those parts that don’t. This is wise strategy for a child, but as an adult some of these learned strategies need examining, and we can find new ways of being that bring about greater ease in ourselves.
Indeed, in adulthood many of us find ourselves so entrenched in dualistic beliefs of right and wrong, that we aren’t really feeling our feelings, only the reactive states we have in response to our feelings e.g. we like it, we want more, we don’t like it, we want less.
We are meaning making creatures who often feel so uneasy in the face of uncertainty that we succumb to patterns of thinking our logical brain thinks keep us safe. The dis-ease that results manifesting in chaos or rigidity may be why you are here reading this now.
So what do we do? The way I work is process-orientated, and I start with the premise that you are not broken, and what you bring is all okay.
Every. Single. Time.
And then we get really curious
We get curious about what it’s like to be you, right now. These are embodied sessions* where you learn to engage your whole self. We welcome your thoughts, your emotions, your body sensations, images that appear to you. We intend to notice these objectively and with kindness. We also employ somatic practices† that arise from the experience you are having, and we experiment with them – again, with curiosity. This approach brings fresh insights to stale situations. It can be surprising, and with a curious attitude we can discover innate emergent processes in you, that may have become stuck along the way.
The space we co-create is one where every part of you is invited and welcome – I welcome your pain, the not-knowing, your shame, your success, your joy, and your knowing. Ultimately you are the sovereign author of you, and you will know when you land on an experience that feels right for you.
I have chosen some fairly unusual paths in life – I do not have a fixed concept of what a life lived well looks like, that’s up to you. In my sessions you will find a deeply non-judgmental and nurturing container, where you can expect to feel soothed, supported, encouraged, and challenged – I am often candid, always gentle, and sometimes whacky in my search and suggestions to help prompt you to find your answers.
Foundational to all sessions is a trauma-informed approach that values agency, the integration of mind body experiences, and moving at the pace of the nervous system, as the bedrock to effecting lasting change in all contexts.
I also trained to work directly with trauma-processing, both in the framework of Embodied Counselling and with EMDR.
*Embodied means that we notice not only the words that you bring into session but the internal sensations and body patterns that we notice, in combination, which add up to a sense of ‘knowing’. What this means is that we are trying to find ways for you to connect with the experience of being ‘in your whole self’ now. Some people will come to this quite easily. For others, for many reasons, maintaining attention and open curiosity on internal sensations can be a challenge, or even impossible. Wherever you’re at with that is fine.
†Somatic practices & interventions work with the whole body / mind. They can include movement, sound, touch, placement of awareness and breath.